1. |
Bosco Baby
02:54
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Why does everything have to be "us"?
Is there no "me" left? I don't trust
Why can't there be something just for me?
Is that so selfish, is that so mean?
You know I couldn't tell her my code
Indication of trust I forego
It's eating me up inside I feel like I could die
Bosco baby, Bosco baby, she's my Bosco baby, yeah
Bosco baby, I think I'm gonna tell her tonight
I'm a portly fellow long in the waistband
My pleasure's chocolate milk in the wasteland
Leapin' Larry's gonna lose his store
Man in the ATM can't seem to open the door
Bosco baby, Bosco baby, she's my Bosco baby, yeah
Bosco baby, I think I'm gonna tell her tonight
Bosco, you know the chocolate syrup
Bosco, the kind that's hard to stir up
Bosco, my dark master the cocoa bean
Bosco, no second-rate Ovaltine or Nestlé Quick
You know Hershey's makes me sick
Not cravin' a salty snack no, no, no
To tell you the truth I've got a sweet tooth, honey
Bosco baby, Bosco baby, she's my Bosco baby, yeah
Bosco baby, I think I'm gonna tell her tonight
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2. |
Pimple Popper, M.D.
02:55
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Skin don't need a doctor, baby, just wash it, dry it, move on
You're just an aloe pusher, baby, just wash it, dry it, move on
It must take a big zit to kill a man and that man must be a freak
You say I've got no idea what it means to save a life
Well I hit a whopper last week
Pimple popper, M.D. it don't mean a damn thing to me
Pimple popper, M.D.
You're one step away from working at the clinique counter
I bought flowers and a fancy dinner just so I could denounce her
It must take a big zit to kill a man and that man must be a freak
You say I've got no idea what it means to save a life
Well I hit a whopper last week
Pimple popper, M.D. it don't mean a damn thing to me
Pimple popper, M.D.
Just put some aloe, just put some aloe on it!
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3. |
It's Go Time!
02:28
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I put the magic in Magic Pan
Crepe money's good get it while you can
Struttin' around in your fancy #1 shirt
Well the best in the world's better than number one - usurped
It's go time! C'mon c'mon
It's go time! C'mon and pump it!
It's go time! C'mon c'mon
It's go time! C'mon and pump it up!
You think you're better than me, well I run this town
I pick it up even when it's bolted down
Del Boca Vista's calling my name
Ain't got no time for no macho head games
It's go time! C'mon c'mon
It's go time! C'mon and pump it!
It's go time! C'mon c'mon
It's go time! C'mon and pump it up!
No hot liquid's gonna burn my face
No Dominican man's gonna take my place
You ain't bringin' that trash into my house
Step aside, string bean, you better eat your sprouts
It's go time! C'mon c'mon
It's go time! C'mon and pump it!
It's go time! C'mon c'mon
It's go time! C'mon and pump it up!
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4. |
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You think sickness grows on trees
Well nobody's sicker than me
I'm the genuine article
Ain't got time for superman or cereal
I never start the day without a good piece of toast
So let's toast to toast
I'm disturbed, I'm depressed, I'm inadequate
I've got it all, I've got it all
They call her the terminator
She calls me and my friends big liars
She's a shark, she never lose a case
Now I make her mad, left her a bad taste
I never start the day without a good piece of toast
So let's toast to toast
I'm disturbed, I'm depressed, I'm inadequate
I've got it all, I've got it all
Started out so good, can't go any place but down now
You know, you know, you know
I've got no place to go, to go
I never start the day without a good piece of toast
So let's toast to toast
I'm disturbed, I'm depressed, I'm inadequate
I've got it all, I've got it all
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5. |
Jerk Store
02:44
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Oh yeah, that's what I should've said
The jerk store's running out of you
But when the ocean called I got a little stalled
I still had some shrimp to chew
But now I've got my mind made up
Even though my friends say it won't work
I've got the perfect line and my flight's on time
I can't wait to zing this jerk
I couldn't live with myself
I've gotta see this thing through
I couldn't live with myself
If it's the last thing that I do
Jerk store's the line
I can't let it go
Jerk store's the line
Even if I'm the best seller of all time
Your cranium called, it's got some space to rent
It's not bad but it won't do
And the zoo called, too, and at 6 you're due
I had sex with your wife it's true
I couldn't live with myself
I've gotta see this thing through
I couldn't live with myself
If it's the last thing that I do
Jerk store's the line
I can't let it go
Jerk store's the line
Even if I'm the best seller of all time
Not gonna dumb it down for some bonehead mass audience
Not gonna dumb it down for some bonehead mass audience
Well the jerk store called and they're runnin' out of you
And you know it's true, yeah you know it's true
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6. |
Rochelle, Rochelle
02:39
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This is a story about life
This is a story about love
This is a story about becoming a woman
But it's mostly a story about love
Yeah she was from Milan but she was headed for Minsk
Along the way things got a little strange and erotic I think
Rochelle, Rochelle - what are we gonna do with you
Rochelle, Rochelle - I never knew a love so true
Rochelle, Rochelle - a strange journey from Milan to Minsk
Rochelle, Rochelle - a strange journey from Milan to Minsk
You were perfect for me
Don't care what the critics say
I followed you all the way, Milan to Minsk on a train
And never saw you again
Rochelle, Rochelle - what are we gonna do with you
Rochelle, Rochelle - I never knew a love so true
Rochelle, Rochelle - a strange journey from Milan to Minsk
Rochelle, Rochelle - a strange journey from Milan to Minsk
Stand by the fire, take off your clothes
You're soaking wet, you'll catch a cold
I know you've had a long strange trip
You'll feel much better if you undo your buttons just a bit
Rochelle, Rochelle - what are we gonna do with you
Rochelle, Rochelle - I never knew a love so true
Rochelle, Rochelle - a strange journey from Milan to Minsk
Rochelle, Rochelle - a strange journey from Milan to Minsk
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7. |
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Why can't I be more like Lloyd Braun
Makin' sales, the phone's not even on
I've gotta find a way to let it melt away
Melt away
I got a little but I ain't got much
My mind is slippin' yeah I'm losing touch
I've gotta find a way to let it melt away
Melt away
Serenity right now, Serenity right now
Serenity now, insanity later, insanity later!
This shiksappeal's got me all worked up
Oy vey! I think I've had enough
I've gotta find a way, to let it melt away
Melt away
Serenity right now, Serenity right now
Serenity now, insanity later, insanity later!
Excuse me a moment...serenity now!
I'm white hot, I beat Braun, hold the line
Water pick victory is mine
Hoochie mama I just can't let it go
Bottled up and now I'm gonna blow
Serenity now!
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8. |
Dojo Domination
02:38
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First time I sparred with an opponent
I was terrified, my legs were noodles
There was a part of me that said yes I can!
Sammy Davis made me a madman
Then I looked inside and found my katra
Breakin' boards and hearts like Frank Sinatra
No black belt but I got the white robe
And I oughta let you know, I oughta let you know
That I dominate the dojo
I said, hey! I dominate the dojo
It's not karate it's a ka-ra-te-eh
I'm gonna knock you back to yesterday
I'm the best so says my sensei
You said your mom was waiting in the alley
Then I looked inside and found my katra
Breakin' boards and hearts like Frank Sinatra
No black belt but I got the white robe
And I oughta let you know, I oughta let you know
That I dominate the dojo
I said, hey! I dominate the dojo
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9. |
Jeannie
02:36
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I can't be with someone like me
I hate myself, I hate myself
Now I know what i've been looking for
All these years it's been staring back at me
I've been waiting for me to come along
And sweep myself right off my feet
No other man would dare compete
I think I may have made a big mistake
Jeannie's nice but she ain't so great
I can't be with someone like me
I hate myself, I hate myself
I was crossin' the street and was almost hit by a car
And that's when Jeannie came along
The whole thing seemed just like a dream
I dreamed of Jeannie from that night on
And that's when everything went wrong
I think I may have made a big mistake
Jeannie's nice but she ain't so great
Three bowls of cereal ain't you had enough?
You talk and act like me but you ain't so tough
My friends can't stand it and I tend to agree
I think I may have made a big mistake
Jeannie's nice but she ain't so great
I can't be with someone like me
I hate myself, I hate myself
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10. |
Big Salad
02:11
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I bought her the big salad but I guess she'll never know
"cause he carried and he gave it to her
And she thanked him even though
I paid, yeah I paid
I'll probably pay again
I love her so much but she thinks we're just friends
I'll take credit where credit's due
And I'll take 'em in I love you's
Big salad - it's coming to you
Big salad - and you know that it's true
Big salad - whatever you do
Know that it's coming from me and it's headed for you
Not much of a Guggenheim
Certainly not made of dough
Pedantic's got me all wound up
'cause she thanked him even though
I paid, yeah I paid
I'll probably pay again
I love her so much but she thinks we're just friends
I'll take credit where credit's due
And I'll take 'em in I love you's
Big salad - it's coming to you
Big salad - and you know that it's true
Big salad - whatever you do
Know that it's coming from me and it's headed for you
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11. |
Man Hands
02:03
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Crackin' beers and breakin' bread
Her hands are bigger than my head
She said make a wish; eyelash I blew
But it didn't come true
Ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-ma-ma-ma she had man hands, man
I need that picture to get in
Forbidden city I've not been
I took a peek inside her purse
This must be some bizarro curse
Ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-ma-ma-ma she had man hands, man
She had man hands, she had the hands of a man
Part woman, part horrible beast out of greek mythology
Don't know if I'd prefer hooks or not hands at all
But if you need an extra set of hands I know who you can call
Ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-ma-ma-ma she had man hands, man
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12. |
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As he reigned blows upon him he thought there must be a better way
The doll was destroyed but out of the ashes a new holiday was born
It's a Festivus for the rest of us
It's a Festivus for the rest of us
Gather the family around and you tell them all the ways
That they have disappointed you over the last year or two
No tree, just a pole - I find tinsel distracting
We ain't decorating shit!
Big aluminum pole
And it's scratching me right where I itch
Airing of grievances, i've got a lot on my mind, no time for lying
Feats of strength always ended up with me crying in
I believe in Festivus Miracles
When I was growing up I pretended that it didn't exist
Just a stupid holiday my father invented
I grew up but at the time I meant it
They drove my family out of Bayside, persecuted for our beliefs
Now it's a big part of who I am
No bagel, no bagel, it's take to take a stand
Airing of grievances, i've got a lot on my mind, no time for lying
Feats of strength always ended up with me crying in
I believe in Festivus Miracles
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MANDELBAUMS Victoria, British Columbia
The World's Greatest Seinfeld-Themed Punk Band™
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