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Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum!

by MANDELBAUMS

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    Luxurious cardboard gatefold digipack CD with lyrics, liner notes, and even more seductive photos by the World's Greatest! Pressed in Poland and shipped from Italy via Badman Records/Striped Music - we don't even want to think about the carbon footprint to get these babies in stock. Bonus items included!

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1.
Bosco Baby 02:54
Why does everything have to be "us"? Is there no "me" left? I don't trust Why can't there be something just for me? Is that so selfish, is that so mean? You know I couldn't tell her my code Indication of trust I forego It's eating me up inside I feel like I could die Bosco baby, Bosco baby, she's my Bosco baby, yeah Bosco baby, I think I'm gonna tell her tonight I'm a portly fellow long in the waistband My pleasure's chocolate milk in the wasteland Leapin' Larry's gonna lose his store Man in the ATM can't seem to open the door Bosco baby, Bosco baby, she's my Bosco baby, yeah Bosco baby, I think I'm gonna tell her tonight Bosco, you know the chocolate syrup Bosco, the kind that's hard to stir up Bosco, my dark master the cocoa bean Bosco, no second-rate Ovaltine or Nestlé Quick You know Hershey's makes me sick Not cravin' a salty snack no, no, no To tell you the truth I've got a sweet tooth, honey Bosco baby, Bosco baby, she's my Bosco baby, yeah Bosco baby, I think I'm gonna tell her tonight
2.
Skin don't need a doctor, baby, just wash it, dry it, move on You're just an aloe pusher, baby, just wash it, dry it, move on It must take a big zit to kill a man and that man must be a freak You say I've got no idea what it means to save a life Well I hit a whopper last week Pimple popper, M.D. it don't mean a damn thing to me Pimple popper, M.D. You're one step away from working at the clinique counter I bought flowers and a fancy dinner just so I could denounce her It must take a big zit to kill a man and that man must be a freak You say I've got no idea what it means to save a life Well I hit a whopper last week Pimple popper, M.D. it don't mean a damn thing to me Pimple popper, M.D. Just put some aloe, just put some aloe on it!
3.
I put the magic in Magic Pan Crepe money's good get it while you can Struttin' around in your fancy #1 shirt Well the best in the world's better than number one - usurped It's go time! C'mon c'mon It's go time! C'mon and pump it! It's go time! C'mon c'mon It's go time! C'mon and pump it up! You think you're better than me, well I run this town I pick it up even when it's bolted down Del Boca Vista's calling my name Ain't got no time for no macho head games It's go time! C'mon c'mon It's go time! C'mon and pump it! It's go time! C'mon c'mon It's go time! C'mon and pump it up! No hot liquid's gonna burn my face No Dominican man's gonna take my place You ain't bringin' that trash into my house Step aside, string bean, you better eat your sprouts It's go time! C'mon c'mon It's go time! C'mon and pump it! It's go time! C'mon c'mon It's go time! C'mon and pump it up!
4.
You think sickness grows on trees Well nobody's sicker than me I'm the genuine article Ain't got time for superman or cereal I never start the day without a good piece of toast So let's toast to toast I'm disturbed, I'm depressed, I'm inadequate I've got it all, I've got it all They call her the terminator She calls me and my friends big liars She's a shark, she never lose a case Now I make her mad, left her a bad taste I never start the day without a good piece of toast So let's toast to toast I'm disturbed, I'm depressed, I'm inadequate I've got it all, I've got it all Started out so good, can't go any place but down now You know, you know, you know I've got no place to go, to go I never start the day without a good piece of toast So let's toast to toast I'm disturbed, I'm depressed, I'm inadequate I've got it all, I've got it all
5.
Jerk Store 02:44
Oh yeah, that's what I should've said The jerk store's running out of you But when the ocean called I got a little stalled I still had some shrimp to chew But now I've got my mind made up Even though my friends say it won't work I've got the perfect line and my flight's on time I can't wait to zing this jerk I couldn't live with myself I've gotta see this thing through I couldn't live with myself If it's the last thing that I do Jerk store's the line I can't let it go Jerk store's the line Even if I'm the best seller of all time Your cranium called, it's got some space to rent It's not bad but it won't do And the zoo called, too, and at 6 you're due I had sex with your wife it's true I couldn't live with myself I've gotta see this thing through I couldn't live with myself If it's the last thing that I do Jerk store's the line I can't let it go Jerk store's the line Even if I'm the best seller of all time Not gonna dumb it down for some bonehead mass audience Not gonna dumb it down for some bonehead mass audience Well the jerk store called and they're runnin' out of you And you know it's true, yeah you know it's true
6.
This is a story about life This is a story about love This is a story about becoming a woman But it's mostly a story about love Yeah she was from Milan but she was headed for Minsk Along the way things got a little strange and erotic I think Rochelle, Rochelle - what are we gonna do with you Rochelle, Rochelle - I never knew a love so true Rochelle, Rochelle - a strange journey from Milan to Minsk Rochelle, Rochelle - a strange journey from Milan to Minsk You were perfect for me Don't care what the critics say I followed you all the way, Milan to Minsk on a train And never saw you again Rochelle, Rochelle - what are we gonna do with you Rochelle, Rochelle - I never knew a love so true Rochelle, Rochelle - a strange journey from Milan to Minsk Rochelle, Rochelle - a strange journey from Milan to Minsk Stand by the fire, take off your clothes You're soaking wet, you'll catch a cold I know you've had a long strange trip You'll feel much better if you undo your buttons just a bit Rochelle, Rochelle - what are we gonna do with you Rochelle, Rochelle - I never knew a love so true Rochelle, Rochelle - a strange journey from Milan to Minsk Rochelle, Rochelle - a strange journey from Milan to Minsk
7.
Why can't I be more like Lloyd Braun Makin' sales, the phone's not even on I've gotta find a way to let it melt away Melt away I got a little but I ain't got much My mind is slippin' yeah I'm losing touch I've gotta find a way to let it melt away Melt away Serenity right now, Serenity right now Serenity now, insanity later, insanity later! This shiksappeal's got me all worked up Oy vey! I think I've had enough I've gotta find a way, to let it melt away Melt away Serenity right now, Serenity right now Serenity now, insanity later, insanity later! Excuse me a moment...serenity now! I'm white hot, I beat Braun, hold the line Water pick victory is mine Hoochie mama I just can't let it go Bottled up and now I'm gonna blow Serenity now!
8.
First time I sparred with an opponent I was terrified, my legs were noodles There was a part of me that said yes I can! Sammy Davis made me a madman Then I looked inside and found my katra Breakin' boards and hearts like Frank Sinatra No black belt but I got the white robe And I oughta let you know, I oughta let you know That I dominate the dojo I said, hey! I dominate the dojo It's not karate it's a ka-ra-te-eh I'm gonna knock you back to yesterday I'm the best so says my sensei You said your mom was waiting in the alley Then I looked inside and found my katra Breakin' boards and hearts like Frank Sinatra No black belt but I got the white robe And I oughta let you know, I oughta let you know That I dominate the dojo I said, hey! I dominate the dojo
9.
Jeannie 02:36
I can't be with someone like me I hate myself, I hate myself Now I know what i've been looking for All these years it's been staring back at me I've been waiting for me to come along And sweep myself right off my feet No other man would dare compete I think I may have made a big mistake Jeannie's nice but she ain't so great I can't be with someone like me I hate myself, I hate myself I was crossin' the street and was almost hit by a car And that's when Jeannie came along The whole thing seemed just like a dream I dreamed of Jeannie from that night on And that's when everything went wrong I think I may have made a big mistake Jeannie's nice but she ain't so great Three bowls of cereal ain't you had enough? You talk and act like me but you ain't so tough My friends can't stand it and I tend to agree I think I may have made a big mistake Jeannie's nice but she ain't so great I can't be with someone like me I hate myself, I hate myself
10.
Big Salad 02:11
I bought her the big salad but I guess she'll never know "cause he carried and he gave it to her And she thanked him even though I paid, yeah I paid I'll probably pay again I love her so much but she thinks we're just friends I'll take credit where credit's due And I'll take 'em in I love you's Big salad - it's coming to you Big salad - and you know that it's true Big salad - whatever you do Know that it's coming from me and it's headed for you Not much of a Guggenheim Certainly not made of dough Pedantic's got me all wound up 'cause she thanked him even though I paid, yeah I paid I'll probably pay again I love her so much but she thinks we're just friends I'll take credit where credit's due And I'll take 'em in I love you's Big salad - it's coming to you Big salad - and you know that it's true Big salad - whatever you do Know that it's coming from me and it's headed for you
11.
Man Hands 02:03
Crackin' beers and breakin' bread Her hands are bigger than my head She said make a wish; eyelash I blew But it didn't come true Ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-ma-ma-ma she had man hands, man I need that picture to get in Forbidden city I've not been I took a peek inside her purse This must be some bizarro curse Ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-ma-ma-ma she had man hands, man She had man hands, she had the hands of a man Part woman, part horrible beast out of greek mythology Don't know if I'd prefer hooks or not hands at all But if you need an extra set of hands I know who you can call Ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-ma-ma-ma she had man hands, man
12.
As he reigned blows upon him he thought there must be a better way The doll was destroyed but out of the ashes a new holiday was born It's a Festivus for the rest of us It's a Festivus for the rest of us Gather the family around and you tell them all the ways That they have disappointed you over the last year or two No tree, just a pole - I find tinsel distracting We ain't decorating shit! Big aluminum pole And it's scratching me right where I itch Airing of grievances, i've got a lot on my mind, no time for lying Feats of strength always ended up with me crying in I believe in Festivus Miracles When I was growing up I pretended that it didn't exist Just a stupid holiday my father invented I grew up but at the time I meant it They drove my family out of Bayside, persecuted for our beliefs Now it's a big part of who I am No bagel, no bagel, it's take to take a stand Airing of grievances, i've got a lot on my mind, no time for lying Feats of strength always ended up with me crying in I believe in Festivus Miracles

about

It’s go time! The Mandelbaums are back with 12 more macho head game anthems about Bosco, big salads, and dominating the dojo on their latest release, Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum! Victoria, BC’s favourite fancy boys bring together Ramones energy and Seinfeld storylines to create a new genre that’ll have the punks pogoing and the couch potatoes yearning for more! If they don’t get sued for copyright infringement by Jerry or Larry, The Mandelbaums are destined to become a household name in primetime punk.

The first single, "It’s Go Time!,” is an explosive crepe-like rallying cry for all things Mandelbaum: putting the magic in magic pan, pumping it, staying fit with beers in hand, and having fun!

credits

released May 1, 2020

The Mandelbaums are:
Dilly Mandelbaum • Lead vocals and guitar
Ritchie Mandelbaum • Guitar and backing vocals
Justy Mandelbaum • Drums and backing vocals
Greggy Mandelbaum • Bass and backing vocals

All songs written by Dylan Rysstad © Sakamano Music Group SOCAN 2020

Produced and mixed by Dylan Rysstad
Mastered by Dave Williams at Eight Floors Above Mastering
Front cover photo by Hayley Guyn
Album art and design by Bob Sakamano

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MANDELBAUMS Victoria, British Columbia

The World's Greatest Seinfeld-Themed Punk Band™

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